Weekend Rant – Fuck Your Shit Excuse!

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Wow, it has been a massive amount of time since my last post, two months in fact. Not long in the real world but in the blogging world, a week is like a year, so my absence must seem like a century. I have no excuse really, I have been extremely busy and simply chose to prioritise the real world over the digital world.

There has lots that I have been tempted to post about line up announcements from all the major festivals, album reviews, tour announcements and plenty of political stuff going on but to them justice in a post takes time and mine has just been better spent in the real world.

I have finally found myself with some time this evening (though my wife, sitting at the other end of the sofa staring blankly into her phone while I type this and watch England’s first six nations game, probably thinks differently) so it is quite fitting that I just read something on Facebook that inspired me to get on here and rant as it falls into the category of one of my biggest pet hates…

EXCUSES!

Though to be more specific Shit Excuses. I say shit excuses as back during my school days I was a big fan of elaborate, or at least, well thought out, indestructible excuses. Not only was I a fan of them, I was a master of them. If I found myself stuck in a jam for not doing some homework or something else I should have done or otherwise doing something I shouldn’t, I was always able to blag my way out of trouble with some plausible excuse, be it elaborate or simple. That’s the trick you see, not just coming up with any random excuse that is as transparent as a white t-shirt with a bucket of water thrown over it, but coming up with an excuse that perfectly fits the situation, is believable and as specific or vague as it needs to be. Get this right and it is a true art to be admired as well as an extremely useful skill.

However, Shit Excuses are just unacceptable. I cannot stand a poorly thought out excuse or even more so an excuse in which clearly no effort has been put at all. These kind of excuses tend to be used when someone wants to get out of doing something with their friends, family or someone else close to them as they really just can’t be bothered/don’t fancy it or (usually the case) they would just rather sit at home and relax or have a lie in (depending if it is a night or day thing they want to get out of).

Rather than just say this, people feel the need to make an excuse and because they are caught on the spot it is usually a very shit excuse which then defeats the object as it doesn’t save anyone’s feelings or hide that really they just don’t or didn’t want to do whatever it is as the excuse is completely transparent. What is the point, if you know it is an excuse and everyone else know’s it is an excuse, why not just tell the truth? What is so bad about just not wanting to do something that people feel they can’t say that and have to make up something completely rubbish to get out of it?

The excuse that inspired me get back on to my blog today was possibly the most shit excuse that I have ever heard. One of my best friends sent out a mass invite via Facebook to go out for a meal for his birthday. Now the person who gave this excuse, clearly just didn’t want to go. Now as the invitation was received via Facebook, the need for an excuse was extremely negligible as they could have simply ignored the invitation to start with or just said “sorry I can’t” as the likelihood of further probing was minimal. Why they said the following then is a complete mystery as it truly is the poorest of the poor. So in response to being invited out for a meal which would take a mere couple of hours this person said they couldn’t as they are:

“house sitting for their rents”.

Now not only were they so lazy that they couldn’t be bothered to type the extra two letters required to actually spell the word “parents” but since when has house sitting meant not leaving the house? Are they going to starve themselves if they run out of food because they couldn’t possibly leave to go to the supermarket just because they are house sitting. Are they really going to become a hermit for the duration of their house sitting duties? Do their parents never leave the house unattended through the fear of something terrible happening? I surely hope not as that would be one dull life.

Now House sitting clearly doesn’t prevent you from going out for a couple of hours and their wasn’t even a need for an excuse as this was not a face to face invitation so what was the point in this very very very shit excuse? Why can’t people just be straight and if they don’t want to do something just say so.

If you have to use them, at least save the excuses for getting out of a genuine tight spot or to avoid something that your boss wants you to do and then make it a good one. Put some effort into it but don’t over egg it, think it through in case you get pressed but don’t go into too much detail so that you can’t remember what you have said and give yourself rope to be hung by. A good excuse is an art and I appreciate the intricacies and balance of a good excuse but a shit excuse is just unacceptable and completely pointless so Fuck your shit excuse, just tell the truth.

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Cory

Turn on, Tune in, Rock out!

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